You love the Caribbean. “One day,” you say, “we’ll take the kids there.” You say it like it’s the freakin’ moon. The simple fact is, from the gentle waves and mostly nonpoisonous wildlife to the relaxed dress codes and absurd abundance of over-engineered swimming pools, the Caribbean is perhaps the world’s best family destination. With a new focus on kid-centric programs at resorts and parks throughout the region, a little rum for the folks and a lot of sunscreen for the nippers, you’ve got the makings of a vacation you won’t forget.
(1) Unless you want to back up to Noah, credit for invention of the family vacation must go to Club Med. Through 40 years and 80 resorts around the world, it’s honed its skills at keeping the little ones occupied – from blocks at Baby Club Med to advanced video editing at the Passworld teen space – so parents can relax. They’ll love the trapeze training; you’ll love the certified baby sitters. Best of all, there are destinations throughout the Caribbean: (2-6) Club Med Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic, Club Med La Caravelle in Guadeloupe, Club Med Columbus Isle in the Bahamas, Club Med Buccaneer’s Creek in Martinique, Club Med Cancún Yucatán in Mexico and Club Med Turkoise in the Turks and Caicos.
(7) Atlantis, on Paradise Island in the Bahamas , already looks like it was designed and built by a 9-year-old (we mean that as a compliment – 9-year-olds know how to design serious fun), but now your minor can minor in architecture while on vacation. Atlantis has teamed with Lego for Lego Fantasy Camp in three sessions this July, in which kids will work side by side with Lego Master builders. (8) Less studious types will head to Aquaventure’s 141 acres of high-speed water slides, river rides over rapids and waves, and themed tunnels and towers or (9) the everything-you-ever-wanted Atlantis Kids Adventures kids club. (10) You, of course, will be rebuilding your adult relationship at Cain at the Cove, the all-adult arena with four multilevel pools, daybeds and poolside service – offered exclusively to guests of the Cove Atlantis.
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(11) The Dominican Republic’s Casa de Campo is sprawling and top-notch, and it offers a world of activities, including three-day sports programs so families can learn and perfect skills in ocean kayaking, tennis or horseback riding. But the day-to-day stuff isn’t so bad either: merengue lessons, beach volleyball, mural painting, kayaking, home and garden tours, power walks, water aerobics, sunset bike tours, Dominican arts-and-crafts and tie-dye T-shirt-making are all on the docket. (12) There are 100 villas at Casa de Campo, some of which sleep 20 or more and feature private pools.
(13) Beaches Boscobel, Jamaica, and Beaches Turks & Caicos offer families a chance to join in on special eco projects, including beach cleanups and nature walks, while learning about the topography of the area in a program called Exploring with Grover. Yes, the furry one. (14) Or there’s Pirates Island Waterpark, with a lazy river and water slides. Grover floats, apparently. (15) Jam-Master Jay (the Run-DMC one) helped Beaches create the Scratch DJ Academy, where teens learn to mix on state-of-the-art equipment and even engage in DJ battles.
(16) Dreams Resorts & Spas (with outposts in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, and Tulum, Mexico) makes adventurers in its Explorer’s Club, with activities like hunting for hidden treasure, building sand castles and jumping into the sea from an ocean trampoline. (17) Once a week, there’s an overnight camping adventure on the beach for the kids. Whatever will you do with yourself? (18) Dreams Punta Cana has updated its teen program, offering disco parties, movies on the beach, rock climbing, campfires and a mechanical bull.
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(19) Our Lucaya, Grand Bahama, teaches kids local dances, island arts and crafts, and coconut bowling – all vital skills that will help them in the tough middle-school admissions process. Especially the coconut bowling.
(20) Camp Hyatt at the Hyatt Regency Curaçao partners with National Geographic Kids to take kids and parents on an archeological exploration centered on the island’s first inhabitants, the Arawaks. (21) Or take a cave hike and learn about stalagmites and stalactites. (One goes down and one goes up, if we recall correctly.)
(22) Kids as young as 8 can get the basics of scuba at Scrub Island’s Bubble Maker Experience, in the British Virgin Islands, where they breathe underwater with regulators and masks under the supervision of certified instructors.
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(23) Ten-year-olds who want to become elite divers can learn to identify aquatic plants and animals and practice underwater navigation in a Professional Association of Dive Instructors-certified four-day course at Beaches Resorts (pictured, right).
(24) Carlisle Bay, in Antigua, gives teenagers “chill-out” rooms with Nintendo Wiis in its Crush program, but most of the action – wakeboarding, zip lining, tubing and yachting – takes place off-screen.
(25) The Bitter End Yacht Club, on Virgin Gorda in the British Virgin Islands, can turn a surly teen into a sailing teen during its Junior Summer Sailing course, with lessons in nautical terminology, rigging and boat handling, along with hours on the water in a variety of boats. (26) Add snorkeling and windsurfing to the mix with the BEYC’s water-sports program.
(27-31) For guaranteed fun, go to a place designed for nothing but fun. Among the great theme parks of the Caribbean are Mystic Mountain, an eco-centric park in Ocho Rios, (complete with JamaicaJamaican bobsled ride); Xcaret, in Mexico’s Riviera Maya; De Palm Island, a private isle off Aruba with a water park; CocoLand water park and kids camp, at Coconut Bay Beach Resort & Spa in St. Lucia; and Xel-Ha, which is essentially a gigantic, swimmable open-sea aquarium near Tulum, Mexico. (32) While you’re at Xcaret, check out the Xcaret Mexico Espec-tacular stage show. Amid a lot of dancing and singing, a Mexican cowboy does rope tricks from the saddle – and his horse jumps through the lasso.
(33) Corny Caribbean jokes!
Q: How much do pirates pay for corn? A: A buck an ear!
Q: What kind of bus can cross an ocean? A: A Colum-bus!
Q: Why do sea gulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
Q: Why does it take sailors so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C.
(34) Everyone knows you shouldn’t harass the wildlife, but that rule is forgotten when it comes to dinoflagellates. These one-celled organisms – billions of them – glow like fireflies when they’re agitated by the paddle of a kayak or the movement of a swimmer. It’s a phenomenon that’s made bioluminescent Mosquito Bay a nighttime sensation on the Puerto Rican island of Vieques. So go ahead, book a paddle with Abe’s Snorkeling & Bio Bay Tours, and by all means, pester the dinos. Just don’t drink the water.
(35) Butterflies are free (OK, $12) on the French side of St. Martin. Flutter around with 40 or so species of them at the open-air Butterfly Farm – La Ferme des Papillons, as its known in these parts. Not St. Martin-bound? Float with the butterflies on Aruba and St. Thomas, USVI, too.
(36) Proving that there’s safety in numbers, Sherman Arch’s Iguana Farm (504-445-7743) on Roatan, Honduras, has some 2,700 prehistoric beasties roaming around, brought here to protect them from locals with an insatiable taste for iguana stew.
(37) Ostriches aren’t exactly Caribbean natives, but then neither are you: Visitors to the Ostrich Farm in Curaçao can hold huge eggs, pet fuzzy chicks and even go for a ride atop the world’s biggest bird.
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